Fulfilling Children's Needs
One big need is contact and belonging. When a child feels as though these need are not being met in their lives (especially from parents and family members), they will mistakenly try to fulfill that need in other ways. Children have been seen to seek undue attention for the lack of contact and feelings of belonging in their lives. I'm sure you have seen this at school with the class clown, or the trouble maker, the super quiet girl, or the kid who is always touching everyone. Parents must respond to their children's needs and make adjustments if necessary. Providing contact may involve physical touch such as hugs, kisses, high fives, holding hands, touching their knee while talking, as well as things like eye contact, and smiling. You may need to offer contact freely and make the extra effort to give your children more contact and healthy attention. With the concept of belonging, you can teach your children to contribute in the home. Help them help you with jobs around the house. Encourage them and let them know they are doing good job. This may look like, letting them help fold laundry, vacuum, or do chores. When they feel they are contributing to the family, they will feel more like they belong.
This is just one example of a "need" in which a child needs, yet it shows us the importance of proving them with healthy ways to fulfill their needs. Whether this is by being the provider or by teaching them skills to know how to accomplish it themselves.
I would like to touch on one point that I think is crucial to understand and recognize. As we saw above, when a child's need is not met, they will seek to fulfill it in another way or means. Dallin H. Oaks said, "You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need won't satisfy you." If children are not provided with these needs they will continue to seek other sources of relief; yet they will continue to not be satisfied unless they actually receive what they need. Parents are responsible to do so for their children.
I am so grateful that I had parents who provided me with needs and skills to live on my own. I hope I can do the same for my future family.
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